Yum Cha Cart Grannies Target Token White Friend

token white friend yum cha

It’s Sunday morning and rain is falling. Hungover, the squad rolls over to the local Red Phoenix yum cha restaurant for a dim sum banquet.

Token ‘egg’ whiteboy Shane is also tagging along with the university Physio group. In addition to yum cha, Shane describes himself as a hotpot and KBBQ enthusiast.

The squad gets seated at a table, the casual feed quickly turns into a racial experiment as Shane makes the rookie error of choosing the outer seat.”

“What are those football dishes that they serve? Shits tasty.” Shane asks the table, immediately downgrading his egg status to stage 1 Gwei Lo (S1GL).

“Is that fried rice I see? Can we get some Chow Fun?”

Seeing the S1GL in the distance, the senior cart grannie puts her weight behind the cart, swiftly pushing in Shane’s direction, like a Winter Olympics bobsled runner.

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She zones in on Shane.

“Hey boy, you want peking duck course or lobster? Very good price.”

Shane pretends to know what he’s looking at in the cart and nods.

“Yeah sounds good, we had a big one last night ha ha.”

Shane goes for a triple threat, adding beverages to the mix, going 3/3 on the whiteboys yum cha scorecard.

“Well also get a round of cokes, glass bottle thanks.”

“Who the fuck invited this guy?!?” Gary Wang shouts at the squad, we’ve been here 2 minutes and Shane has already racked the bill up to $100.

“Shane go sit on the inside of the table ASAP.” The YAPs chorus as they push Shane into the safe space.

“Oppression!” Yells Shane as he’s forced to move.

More spice to come.

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Written by

Martin is the Chief Strategist at The YAP Native. Pressured to study medicine by his parents, he defaulted to commerce and found his calling sucking the corporate teet of the finance sector. You can catch him 'flexing' with a Single Malt Scotch Whisky at various upper class watering holes in Sydney CBD on Fridays.