Local Man Stops Talking To Friends, Uses subtle asian traits Instead

A local man doesn’t need his friends anymore. All jokes and the angst of his cultural and familial upbringing are now satisfied in the 82,000 member strong Facebook group.

“Its not subtle at all how much this page connects to me”, says Justin, 22. “Its clear and overt. I love this page.”

Previously, Justin’s conversations with his mates often revolved around uniquely ‘Asian-Australian’ things that him and his friends would laugh about, things that Cameron Woodley-White to his left wouldn’t get. Soju, vicks, LGs, pho noodles, tense parent-teacher interviews.

Now Justin has found an outlet in a more powerful online group. Justin has even dared to post some content, something he seldom does on a public Facebook group. He’s not some excessively outspoken white guy for goodness sake.

Upon posting, the strong flurry of likes and ‘tagging’ provided Justin with a strong dopamine rush he never expected. “This felt good” Justin said, “I never felt this accepted before”.

Now Justin has posted multiple times, from simple memes about anime to sayings his mum yells around the house. Even mediocre content which would be strongly seenzoned in any other page finds itself with a strong like-to-post ratio.

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Looking up from his phone, Justin takes a look at his mate Keith Chan. Keith is Chinese but grew up in Bondi. Keith surfs, listens to Triple J and is very much ‘white-washed’. Out of nowhere Justin says “Sucked in Keith!! You may have all the luxuries of the Eastern suburbs but you could never enjoy this page!!.”

Keith says “what the fuck” but Justin isn’t listening. Justin’s post just got 3.5k likes in 30 seconds on subtle asian traits.

Life is good.

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Jimmy is the in-field correspondent for breaking and trending news. In his free time he enjoys scrolling aimlessly on social media and stalking past girlfriends.