Investment Banking Mate Hopes New Pair Of Patterned Socks Will Make Up For Empty Soul

“That polka dot pair is loud. And red. I’m loud.”

Jerry Yung is a rising star in the world of investment banking.

He conservatively works 12 hour days in a skyrise office, doesn’t bite the hand of older caucasian executives who feed him, and he likes doing lots of cocaine.

But while ‘Jezza’, as coined by his senior manager, propelled his career ahead via honest modern-day slavery, it came at a harsh but predictable cost.

He no longer has a soul.

“I don’t know what it is but I’m actually incapable of feeling anything…what even are emotions?

“You want some of this bag bro?

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All is not lost however. The 22 year old Junior Valuation Specialist has a trick up his sleeve: New patterned socks. Paid for, with the latest commissions Jerry made on an undervalued stock.

“These will help bring out my personality” he thinks. “And my wealth”

Jerry scans the socks on the Aquila shelf and begins to envision what type of energy he will give off to females workers in the CBD.

“That polka dot pair is loud. And red. I’m loud.”

“And colourful too”

With six new pairs in his arm, Jerry is ready to dominate.

“New socks who dis.” he soliloquies, before treating himself to a 4pm nose beer.

More on Jerry’s sock choices soon.

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Written by

Ignatius is the lead business journo for The YAP Native and part-time crypto investor. While' Iggy' studied a Bachelor of Commerce, he considers himself a Master in Culture.