Derek has been thrown a spanner in the works. An omen that can only mean one thing: when a girlfriend changes their hair colour without warning, you’re pretty much fucked and she’s quitting on you.
Just now, Derek’s girlfriend, Crystal, has transitioned from having black hair to a sultry purple ombré. All of this captured by her most recent instagram post.
“New hair, new phase and challenges :).”
This is reaffirmed by many of her female friends, who are clearly more privy to the situation than Derek.
“Yaaaaas girl!! New beginnings, fresh start..”
“Looking hot Crystal bebe xx.”
Derek, sends a panic text.
“Babe is everything ok?”
“Yeah bubba everything’s fine.”
“You didn’t tell me you were changing your hair today? Looks nice though :)) <33.”
“I don’t need to tell you everything I do, do I?” says Crystal, now slightly defensive.
“I just feel like a change, tired of the same hair colour. Just wanted to try something new. You ask too many questions and it gives me anxiety.”
In a highly reactive mood, Derek got a new tattoo on his forearm and started a Tinder account.
The following Monday, Derek shared the chat with some of his female coworkers at lunch.
“Ladies I really need your advice. What do you think Crystal meant?!”
The girls from work look at each other with a compassionate expression. “Derek, we love you bud. But…”
“But what?!” Derek shouts.
“But it sounds like you’re fucked. Good luck mate it’s time to give her some space.”
More spicy relationship omens to come.