Local Korean At Sushi Store Fooling Everyone

“I feel like Japanese”

It’s the crying song of workers, students, wives and partners around the world who feel like eating something healthy and easy. But woe unto them.

A recent study by The Yap Native found that over 98% of sushi stores marketed as ‘Japanese’ are in fact run by South Koreans.

Their defence? You never asked.

Korean workers marshalling as happy Japanese employees sell Caucasian office managers named Carol overpriced chicken and avocado sushi rolls daily. For anyone who believes the nation of Japan was founded on chicken and avocado rolls rightly ends up paying the $3.50 per roll fare.

Of course, the Koreans do not help the cause by yelling out token Japanese catchphrases at new customers:

“Konichiwa!”

“Gozaimas!”

They then swiftly return to their huddled conversations about the latest Korean drama.

Kim Ye Jin, a Korean sushi worker in Sydney CBD, says it doesn’t take much to disguise herself as Japanese to white Caucasian customers. Her daily routine to disguise herself consists of taking a shower and going to work as normal. In other words, fuck all.

“They think we all look the same. Is why they pay extra. Haha”

So who wins? It looks to be a win-win zero-sum game for all involved. Carol the office manager returns to work with a healthy sushi dish and Ms. Kim continues to find gainful employment in the local foodcourt. In what is described as the greatest dupe of the white man since Jay Sean was discovered to be Indian, nothing is likely to change any time soon.

More on this story as it unfolds.

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Martin is the Chief Strategist at The YAP Native. Pressured to study medicine by his parents, he defaulted to commerce and found his calling sucking the corporate teet of the finance sector. You can catch him 'flexing' with a Single Malt Scotch Whisky at various upper class watering holes in Sydney CBD on Fridays.