Local Hardcunt Forgets To Turn On Private Session During Mariah Carey Car Binge

Despite becoming a bit of a hardcunt in his 20s, Justin Chu has always had a soft spot for early 2000s slow jams and R’n’B.

It’s why every often, the Nissan Skyline owner fires up a Spotify private session that pays homage to the era in his car, allowing Chu to experience a warm feeling of nostalgia yet maintain his hardcunt status at all times.

Today however, en route to his weekly Skyline owners meetup, Justin forgot to activate private session before hitting play on ‘This Is Mariah Carey.’

And it’s severely tarnishing his reputation as a hardcunt.

“I use to get nervous around Justin,” says fellow Skyline owner Winston Law.

“But now I’ve got this image of him dropping a falsetto to We Belong Together in the shower, and i can’t get it out of my head.”

“Haha, what a cute cunt.”

“I always knew Justin was a squealer,” adds friend Jason Chen.

Some of the females from Justin’s social group have also weighed in.

“Hey Justin, do you ever just shake it off? Hahah” says Emily Vu.

“But seriously, Justin was a total hottie, but now I think he’s the type of guy to text ‘good morning’ if we were to ever hookup.”

We got in touch with Justin who immediately got defensive.

“So what if I’m a morning person?”

“Besides, Mariah’s got a sick falsetto, fuck off. And if you tell anyone I told you that, I’ll shank you cunt.”

With his hardcunt status now withering, Justin has since gone into hiding. His Spotify is still on public.

More spice to come.

Work emails suck. Read our newsletter instead.


Get the best and worst of our culture to your inbox weekly.


Need help with your resume? Email us: yaptank@gmail.com.

Share

Written by

Ignatius is the lead business journo for The YAP Native and part-time crypto investor. While' Iggy' studied a Bachelor of Commerce, he considers himself a Master in Culture.