Gladys Walks Out Of Opportunity To End Dry Spell After Sensing Pill Testing Vibes From Date

BREAKING

45th premier of New South Wales, Gladys Berejiklian has reportedly backed out of a no-brainer opportunity to end her 25-year dry spell.

The Liberal Party leader says she cut things short after deciding that her date was giving off ‘strong pill testing vibes”.

“Conversation was going good from Scallops through till Creme Brulee. But then I realised he was wearing a shirt that just screamed ‘I believe in harm reduction.”

Her date, 47 year old divorcee Joseph Chang, was allegedly sporting a red and yellow Hawaiian shirt.

“I started picturing Mr. Chang taking an uncontaminated Ecstasy pill and then having a really good time at HTID”

“That sends the wrong message so I gave him a hard no”

Chang, who is also Gladys family doctor, told our reporter that he was just trying to mix things up

“I just didn’t want to be your typical Asian doctor”

More spice to come.

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Jen is the lifestyle editor at The YAP Native. As a long time sufferer of a condition known as wanderlust Jenny has been to over 6 continents and dated both guys and girls from roughly 20 different ethnicities.